In the future we'll all be gay
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
