East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
