i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
being pregnant is like rehab
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
