is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
