Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
