weddingsv make me drug and hornr
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
