wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
