OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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