Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
