What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
