its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize