why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
