Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
