Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
