all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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