I wish I only lived at night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
