Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
