The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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