She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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