Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
