The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
