I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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