in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
