shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
