One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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