i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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