I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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