I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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