Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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