K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
