do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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