Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
