i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I forget how to act sober
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
