your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
