I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When did angry sex become our thing?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
