i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
