sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
