I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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