yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
