Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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