I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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