So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
