Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
