Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
