i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My vagina is officially offended.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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