i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
