I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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