hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
