dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
