lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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