Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
they need to just BURY HIM!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
