Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
