yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
